If effectively handled we believe that even the most difficult conflict can be leveraged to produce positive outcomes.
Conflict is an inevitable aspect of any team. It is because you choose to address the conflict.
In every moment and every situation, we have the freedom to choose our behavior – So, what is it that stops you from telling ‚that‘ colleague that their analytical, hostile or untrustworthy behavior really irritates you?
We get it. Conflict is naturally uncomfortable. The tendency to avoid stress is so in a human being. But calling it natural does not mean it is essential or beneficial for unchangeable behavior. Self-awareness and self-discipline can not be reduced to the unnatural. All Humans have the capacity to do the unnatural, to transcend and transform our own nature. Think about it – our daily routines consist of numerous unnatural things, such as brushing our teeth or washing. We teach ourselves to do the unnatural even unnatural even becomes second nature.
Changing how we behave and address Challenges in the workplace is no different. It begins with self-awareness of our behavior and the behaviors of others that cause the highest level of irritation of frustration in us. It is only once we identify these triggers that we can control how we respond to them.
Being good at handling conflict is not innate. So they become ’natural‘. Constructive responses that must be learned, practiced and re-practiced overtime.
Stop and think about the following:
Regconise that you are in conflict and break.
Think – why are you being triggered? (what are the actions or actions of the person that is causing you to feel this way)
Does the other person know that you are triggered?
What are your choices? How can you respond in a constructive way that wants to deescalate the conflict before it becomes a dispute? (perspective taking, express emotions, creative solutions etc)